031114 / by Simeon Smith

How do I start?

How did I start? 14 years ago I played my own music live for the first time as a finalist in a battle of the bands / demo competition. Half a dozen bands, 2 albums, a dozen EPs and countless gigs later and my audience hasn’t grown. 
I used to be ahead of the curve. I used to be the teenage guy that does ALL THAT at home with a laptop before doing things at home with a laptop was the norm. I’m now just one more bearded white guy with a macbook and a pint of craft ale. 
This isn’t me complaining. I don’t feel hard done by. I’m not disappointed or jaded by the general public’s lack of interest in my egotistical and self-centred musical endeavours. 
This is about hunger.
I want more. I want to be better. I want my art to be better. I want to play louder. I want deeper bass and more tantilising melodies. I want crisper hi-hats and brighter trumpets. I want a wider stereo field. I want harder-better-faster-stronger and I don’t care if it’s a cliché coined by the same people that wrote that bloody song that I couldn’t dislodge from my conscience  all summer.
This isn’t about playing the dropout, the loser. I’ve had my successes. I’ve enjoyed my successes. We all have. I’ve played packed festivals. I’ve also played to the sound guy, the promoter, the barmaid and no one else. We all have. Some days I cannot be bothered any longer. 
But most days I’m just hungry. And every moment that isn’t geared toward creating better art or sharing it more effectively, with anyone who finds beauty in it, kills me. 
And this leaves me with a dilemma: What do I do with the this hunger? I’ve done everything I know to make better art and share it more effectively for the past 14. Half a dozen bands, 2 albums, a dozen EPs and countless gigs later and my audience hasn’t grown. 

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